| Location | Insch |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 03/01/2008 |
| Date of Death | 03/01/2008 |
| Visitors | 2,640 since 08/02/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
I am a 21 year old girl and gave birth to Lee Alexander on the 3rd of january 2008 at half 5 in the morning. It was a complete shock to me as i never knew i was pregnant.
Once he came into this world i was more worried i had nothing for him not the fact that i never realised my baby was dead. Shock had never hit me until i arrived at the hospital and saw how lovely he looked in his clothes and very peaceful, i was heartbroken. Lee was only 4lb 6oz and a lovely boy who did me proud.
I felt more sad for my parents as they had lost a grandchild and my brothers lost a nephew, i never really thought of myself at that time. We had his funeral a week later and he was buried with my granda, i have never felt so lonely and lost at that time and pain hurt me so so hard and broke me in two.
I could never understand how people could be so cruel and ignore me instead of just being normal like i would ask, it shows you at times who your friends really are.
I think back to things i should never of done like shooting with the cadets, running about and being in a boat accident didn`t help. I am still awaiting the post mortem results and each day my heart is breaking but im trying to be strong.
I break down and cry so often, i can`t believe this has happened to me and i miss my little angel so so much and wish he was here with me. I love him and will always miss him i never knew it was this hard.
Anyone who can help me through his time please do, i find coping quite hard, i might put on a brave face but that is not the case, im lonely and lost at some times.
A poem from a very special friend:
Please don't tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don't tell me my son is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want him here with me,
Don't tell me someday I'll hear his voice, see his face,
Beyond today I cannot see,
Don’t tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don’t tell me to face the fact he is gone,
Because denial is something I can't stop,
Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
Don't tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I'll never be as I was before,
What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don't hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday.
../\„„./\
.(='•'= ).
.(“) „. (“)
. \,\„„/,/ Spяinklє∂ with lღvε
. │„„, │........aи∂ puяяs ♥
. /„/„ \„\
.(„)''l l''(„)
. .. ((
. . . ))
. . .((
In a baby castle, just beyond your eye,
Your baby plays with angel toys that money cannot buy.
Who are you to wish him back into this world of strife,
No, play on your baby, they'll have eternal life.
At night when all is silent and sleep forsakes your eyes,
You'll hear their tiny footsteps come running to your side
Their little hands caress you so tenderly and sweet,
You'll breathe a prayer and close your eyes and embrace them in your sleep.
Now you have a treasure that you rate above all others
You have known true glory,
You are still their mother.
A Birthday In Heaven - by Kris Smith
I heard you crying yesterday,
And felt your heart-sent love.
So I’m sending you this message
Now, from Heaven up above.
You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate
My Birthday (way up here).
I know you’re missing me today
I feel your essence near.
God planned a special day for me,
He told me with a wink.
He’d ordered me a special cake
(It’s Angel food, I think).
Balloons will fill the streets for me,
They float up through the clouds.
And we have lots of friends up here
That make us laugh out loud.
There is a Birthday carousel,
Jewelled horses ride the wind,
With music playing, oh so sweet…
The magic never ends.
I’ve made so many friends, you see
We laugh and play and sing.
We ride our bikes and play the fool
And sleep in Angel’s wings.
But we don’t blow out our candles here
Instead, they light the skies.
With love from your little Angel xx
Born Still - by Unknown Author
Do you know how hard it is
To hold a baby who doesn’t cry?
Do you know how hard it is
To tell that baby Goodbye?
Do you know how hard it is
To look at an empty bed?
Knowing your child should be there
Resting his sleepy head?
Do you know how hard it is
Feeling you’re to blame?
And no matter what they tell you
You'll always feel the same.
Do you know the heartache
Knowing he’s gone for good?
And feeling that you didn't
Do all the things you could.
Do you know how hard it is
To hear that it's Gods will?
Do you know the emptiness
When your child is born still?
Unfortunately we do XX
its hard
Lee honey
Im really really missing you son, thought things would get a little bit easier but its not, when im alone i cry, when im in bed at night i look at your picture and cry myself to sleep. I really wish you were here. I just want you here, you should never of gone from me, i know it was unexpected and you werent planned but even if you were still here i would of spoilt you rotten and loved you so so much but i will never ever get that chance to do that. I wont get the chance to cuddle you when you fall, see your first steps or when oyu go to school and that is breaking my heart so so much. My tears sting every night with the pain, i hate you not being here baby. Always in my heart love mummy xxxxxxx
With Love
To a precious little boy
I send my love
For his mummy
I send prays and love
Death is only another page in the book of life turning over.
Your son lives on in your heart and will always be with you.
Love, light and peace i wish upon you and your family.
xx
another sad mummy
hi my name is Karly i also lost my little girl in february so i know how you feel i am also 21 and some days are hard so sorry to hear of your news write to me if you want someone to talk to my love to you and your family all my love karly xxx
Lee, missing you lots and lots! Each day without you is harder and never seems to get easier. I hope you know that i love you very very much with all my heart and will never ever forget you. xxxxxxxxxxx
If tomorrow starts without me ....
To all of Lee's family,
I came across Lee's page today and just wanted to say how so very sorry I am for ur loss. Far too young to have been given his angel wings. I can't begin to imagine ur pain but my thoughts are with u.
My nephew was given his angel wings in January too and I found this poem for my sister, Stan's mummy, and wanted u to have it too.
He was so very, very special
And was so from the start
You held him in your arms
Now only in your heart.
And like a single drop of rain
That on still waters fall,
his life did ripples make
And touched the lives of all.
He has gone to play with angels
In heaven up above
So keep your special memories
And treasure them with love.
Although your darling son
Was with you just a while
He will live on in all your hearts
With a sweet remembered smile.
U have my heart x
Hi Vicky, I'm so sorry I haven't got back to you sooner. Thanks for your candle on Tyler's site. If you fancy a chat send me an email or we could chat on msn if you have it. xx
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